You Think You're So Clever (a work in progress)

So, yeah, you think you're so clever. So experienced, so wise in the Ways Of The World. Bullshit. We never stop learning.

Think about it; everyone (unless it's just me) has that fantasy of going back in time 10 years or so, and confronting your younger, more ignorant self. Everyone wishes they knew then what they know now, so they could warn themselves against certain poor decisions, or mistakes, or whatever.

That's bullshit.

Age doesn't equal wisdom. Experience doesn't foster understanding. No matter how "experienced," or "clever" you think you are, you're still a moron. All it takes is some kind of Emotional Tragedy to reduce us all to our bare essence. We are all damaged. We are all lost.

Forget traveling back and tutoring ourselves ten years ago-that would be pointless. "Twenty-three Year Old Shawn" couldn't even begin to understand the lessons that I would offer. He didn't have the mental capacity to process that information.

I wish I could travel back a month or two. Or even a week. I think we learn something about The World and Ourselves every day. "Shawn from Early February" could learn a thing or two from "Shawn of April." Fuck it- "Shawn from April 6th" could probably teach "April 5th Shawn" some sort of lesson.

I feel slightly more evolved every day. Part of me wishes I could go back and rectify the mistakes I've made over the past few months (a very large part of me), but the rest of me realizes this is all a Learning Experience; a stepping stone on the path of Becoming a Better Shawn. For whatever that's worth.

I guess that's it- we are all Works In Progress. Tomorrow, I'll probably re-read this very post, and laugh at who I was last night.

At least, I hope so, because it's already tomorrow, and I don't feel any smarter...

Damn.