The Moping

Fer fuggsakes, it never ends.

After my last post (yesterday) I was resigned to "Putting It All Behind Me." "Moving On." Whatever bullshit phrase people use in situations like this. I drank an Heroic amount of Wild Turkey (killing a full bottle in two nights-redefining "dependency"), wrote (what I considered to be) a cathartic blog, and passed out watching my video of Tori Amos live at The Theatre at Madison Square Garden (fuck you- Tori's an awesome musician, I was actually at that show, and Maynard came out to duet with her- I enjoyed it).

Upon waking to the melodious strains of my shitty alarm clock, I noticed that there was a message on my answering machine. It was from Laura. She had called around 4am, sounding a bit drunk, a bit upset, and wanting to talk to me. Ugh. This, I don't need. Hearing her voice alone was enough to ruin my whole mood (the hangover was a close second). I deleted the message (after listening to it just three times, because, I'm no pussy [heh]), and went about my day. I decided to not return her call. "Moving On," and all that. That lasted until around Midnight, when I called her.

It turns out that she had drunk-dialed me, and for no particular reason other than that's what people do when they're drunk. We had an awkward, stilted conversation for about seven minutes, wherein she apologized for calling me, and then told me she won't do it again. I told her to take care of herself, and that was it.

Bleh.

"Would you care for a little salt in those wounds, Sir?"


Here's the problem: as much as I don't want to talk to Laura anymore, I actually do. I still love her, and I still miss her. Now it just comes down to a matter of Pride. She doesn't want to be my Gal, so common sense dictates that we sever all contact, to spare myself further pain. But, every time the phone rings, I'm hoping it's her. This is awful.

So, let's focus on The Positive:

-I'd like to thank Rob (The Paint Doctor) for listening to my incessant ramblings about the whole "Laura Situation." He's become a pretty good friend of mine over the past year, and I'm not writing this just because I need him to help me spackle the spare room in my house. Although, I do.

-Much love to The Boonton Ave Grill for being my new second home. Everyone there is cool as hell, the food is good, and they comp most of my drinks. What more could you ask for?

-I work with a guy named Carlos, who writes, records, and performs his own Spanish Pop songs. I played bass on his previous album a few years ago, and I've been working on two new songs with him over the past few weeks. We're recording right in my hometown at an awesome studio (Portrait Studios). So far, I've played bass (duh), rhythm (acoustic) guitar, and electric rhythm and lead guitar (!). Tomorrow night, I'm going to track some percussion (congas and shit). It's been so great to work on these songs, in a genre I'm not familiar with, and to actually pull off lead guitar. It has restored my faith in my chosen career, and reminded me that I'm Good At Something. As a matter of fact, the guy who owns the studio took down my number, and may score me some session work! Big "props" also to James, who came in cold, and laid down drums on both songs. He is a True Musician.

-Lastly (before this becomes too big of a Love Fest), I want to thank my Best Friend, Noelle, for being...well...my Best Friend. She lives in Maryland, and has her own particular brand of Bullshit to deal with on a daily basis, but she's always there for me. I haven't seen her in months, but we've been talking, and I'll probably head down to visit her soon. She's been My Pal through all manner of hardship, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. As a matter of fact, we briefly discussed me moving down there when The House sells, and paying her rent to crash at her place. I could use a change of scenery, and we always have a good time hanging out together. Although, I'm not sure the state of Maryland could handle Pancho and Cisco reunited. Together, we are a Force of Nature. Time will tell.

That's quite enough typing for now. Life ain't so shitty, and I'll soldier on. Things are just tough right now, and I miss Laura terribly. I need to focus on The Good Things, and let myself heal. All in due time...


God, I sound like such a pussy.


The next time you see me, punch me in the chest. I deserve it for typing out all of this weepy bullshit.


Ugh.