Mr. Acheyparts

Man, every part of me hurts. Internal and external. I've got random and copious bruises, my guts feel like they're going to liquefy and fall out of my anus, and my legs and neck are sore from jumping around like a fucktard last night. It's awesome.

I decided to celebrate feeling slightly better (fuggin' cold and flu shit) on Tuesday by going out that night and kicking off a Bender the likes of which are seldom seen 'round these parts.

In True Bender fashion, I hit The B.A.G. and drank on an empty stomach. Fun. I don't remember leaving the bar, driving home, or even what I did when I got home (I really don't). I pieced it all together the next day, and it turns out it was a good night. I think. For me.

Wednesday night was The Side Door, where I got to see two of my favorite chicks- Ally and Trish. Ally was in town again this week, and tried her hardest to not stay all night (like last week) and drink lots of Wild Turkey with me. She failed, God bless her. We shoveled much cash into the snazzy, new Internet Jukebox, and played many wondrous Clutch tunes. Ally drinks Wild Turkey and likes Clutch- if her boyfriend ever(tragically)gets hit by a bus, or something, I'm gonna marry that chick.

Trish was bartending that night, which is always good news for my Problem, and bad news for my liver. Trish is such a sweet gal that I'm sure she's hiding a really dark, evil streak somewhere deep inside. She probably worships Satan and eats babies, or something Evil like that. If her boyfriend ever (tragically) gets devoured by a thousand bees, or something, I'm gonna marry her, too. I'll marry them both, "Big Love" style, and we will live in a Rock and Roll house full of bourbon and Metal. And lube.

The fellas from Murderhole (check 'em out on Myspace) showed up to rock The B.A.G. last night. "Rock the bag"- sounds a bit fruity. *Ahem* Starting over...

The fellas from Murderhole (check 'em out on Myspace) showed up to rock The Boonton Ave Grill last night. I was familiar with the band through Myspace, but hadn't really ever heard any of their songs (damn you, archaic dial-up!). Duuude, these guys kick ass. We usually only give bands three or so songs, because we need to make sure everyone gets a chance to play, but we let Murderhole play longer, because they rocked. I'm definitely going to try and book some QKF shows with them.

I was taking a leak, and the drummer from Murderhole (sorry, man-I forget your name, and I'm far too lazy to look it up on your profile) asked me "Aren't you El Infarto?" He had seen me on Myspace, I guess. It's just funny to be recognized as "El Infarto." It's better, I suppose, than being recognized as "That fucking douchebag who gave my sister scabies," or something like that.

Two of the guys from the band (again, too lazy to research your names, sorry, guys) stuck around and sat in with us on Pantera's "Fucking Hostile" and "Walk," and also our "Master of Puppets Medley" that changes every week, wherein we cram several Metallica tunes into the middle section of the song, in an attempt to thoroughly confuse both the crowd, and more often that not, ourselves.

So, yeah- it was a good week. Tonight rob and I are playing an acoustic gig at The B.A.G., which is always good, retarded fun. I'm looking forward to it because Big Al loaned me his super-sweet Taylor acoustic, since my Ovation is shot. Somebody should buy me a really nice acoustic guitar.

Anybody?


Please?



Bastards.


Tomorrow, I'm either going to:

a) Go to Bryan T's spot at the Poconos with Tony, Buzzy, and a bunch of others to drink many beers and play guitar around the campfire all night.

b) Go to The Wacky Tlackies' Pig Roast in Whippany to drink many beers and catch up with good friends that I haven't seen in a while.

c) Go to the Yankees game with Bob and Trout to drink many beers and then head to a birthday party-type thing.

or

d) Sit around all day in my underwear, drink many beers and read comic books, and then hang out with CHUMP at The Grasshopper Too.

[Notice the common Theme - "drink many beers."]

["Whoa-oh Yeahee!!!"]

It's a World of Adventure, indeed.

Indeed.